Vivian had gotten Finn ready for school. Luckily he asked to stay over for a slumber party at some other kid’s home, as it was Friday, meaning he would not come home until tomorrow late morning. She was more than happy to allow it.
Hopefully this would give her time to fix things with Silas. She had been up all night, not unusual for a vampire in general, but vampires with school aged children usually had odd schedules. It was now a full day that Silas was gone. Should she call some people to see if he was there? Since he had been a loner for so long, as many older vampires were, there was really nobody to call. Her dad or Caleb maybe. Neither one of which she wanted involved in this mess, if she could help it.
She looked outside, worried, then at her watch. If he did not make it home soon, it would be too light. That would mean many more hours without him.
She heard the door open and close, soon after he appeared in the kitchen.
“Silas, thank goodness!”
He just looked at her.
She walked towards him to hug and kiss him, but he raised his hands, dissuading her. So he was still mad.
“Silas, I am sorry. I have been thinking and …”
“Spare me. Spare us. It won’t wash. Not again.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I have been thinking too. Please start looking for a new home for you and Finn, a nice one, with a big backyard and a large room for him. Price is of no consequence. I will further give you a nice sum to get you both started. But I ask that you see to this as soon as you can muster without it affecting the boy too much. I will talk to him after school and then stay with Caleb until it is all set and done, hoping that will make the transition for Finn easier. No need making the kid pay for our mistakes.”
“Silas, wait, what do you mean? You want us to separate?”
“More than that. We need to divorce. Soon.”
“Just like that? You won’t even try, just throw in the towel?”
“I am done talking about this. You won’t change, I cannot change. I want what I want. And I rather go on living alone than doing this again and again. And think of your child, Vivian. He will eventually notice his paren… his mother and her husband fight. It is an unfit and unhealthy environment.”
He turned to walk up the stairs. Vivian tried to hold him back but he just kept on walking, so she followed him up the stairs.
“Silas, please let’s talk. I – I can have a child with you if that is what you really want.”
“No.” he said, while packing some clothing into a rolling suitcase, after taking off the ones he had been wearing, which smelled like old alcohol, sweat and bar rooms.
“Because I do not believe a child should be a one way street. And certainly not be used as a token to fix a broken marriage.”
“Would you call this marital bliss?” he sat down on the bed, digging though his nightstand, carelessly throwing things into the suitcase. Vivian sat down too.
“We are having a fight. Many couples fight. It is normal.”
He let out a snort.
“If you call THIS normal, we really do not have anything in common. Funny coming from me, but your mother was right all along. We do not mix.”
“Mom just wanted to protect me from getting my heart broken. She does not think we do not belong.”
“Are you so sure? Either way, matters little anymore.” he halted and looked at her. His eyes, beautiful and amber, seemed so sad. Vivian slid closer to him.
“Silas, I love you. I do. I do not want to lose you. I am very sorry I hurt you so … give me one more chance. I know everybody has been trying to tell me, but I just could not see it until now..” she said with urgency. he seemed to be considering her words, his face so close now, close enough for a kiss. But he straightened up now.
“See what exactly?” he asked, suspicion hinting in his voice.
“That I am a bitch. An egoistic bitch.”
“That’s some insight. I am listening.”
“If you want a child, let’s have one. Just please, please don’t go.”
He got up, snorting again, shaking his head with a sad smile, walking towards the bathroom.
“What? What did I say wrong now? Silas wait!”
Vivian followed him, watched him lather up, while he seemed to be ignoring her presence. He just proceeded as you would if you’re alone.Looking at him like that made her feel all … intense again.
Yeah, why exactly was it such a problem for her? He had already more than proven himself, just being kind, reliable and that he loved her. Maybe having her heart crushed as a teen twice in a row, first by the boy she had such a major crush on, which her cousin lured from her with sex, and then again immediately after falling for Lucca who just wanted to have sex with her, than served her off ice-cold when she got pregnant, maybe that made her very jumpy and distrusting. Maybe it broke something inside of her.
Personally, she had always liked kids, even when she still was one herself. And she would not trade in Finn for the world. They had a huge house, a big yard, were financially secure. And damn, if they had a kid it would probably end up stunning, with that husband .. and hey, she worked as a model herself, couldn’t be that bad, right?
He got out of the shower, looking at her still standing there while drying off, then just left.
When she followed he was already mostly dressed in the bedroom, about to grab the telescope handle of the suitcase.
“Silas … please ….” she begged
He halted, looking at her, his eyes searching in hers.
“I don’t think I can.” he shook his head.
“Silas, please, just let’s talk more .. discuss options .. please, just don’t go!” she pleaded.
He pulled his arm away from her, forcefully.
“Vivian, NO!” he said sternly.
Vivian just could not move anymore, felt like her entire body was filled with sand, so heavy, numb. Except the tears. She had not even noticed she was crying. She sat on the bed, pulling up her legs and just cried as she was watching him leave the room.
Many hours had passed with them fighting, and it was almost winter and overcast, so it was dark again. Or still. He would leave.
No he wouldn’t! Vivian perked up. She had to keep him here. Not just roll over and die.
She jumped up and ran after him. Caught up with him in the kitchen where he was on his way to take the side exit through the garden to the car, suitcase in tow.
“SILAS! WAIT!” Vivian yelled.
He let go of the handle and looked at her.
“What?”“You cannot just leave. You can’t.”
“Vivian, not again …” his hand went to his forehead, he seemed exhausted.
“You are a coward!” she accused him.
“You heard me. Running away like a little girl when the going gets rough.” she yelled. Not because she really meant it, but to keep him here. Somehow.
“You have some nerve!” he yelled back.
“Why can’t we just talk. Just try once more. You listen to me, I listen to you. neutrally.”
He shook his head, snorted again accompanied with a sad smile, grabbed the handle of the suitcase and was out the door.
Vivian ran after him, now truly beside herself. She could barely see for tears anymore when she finally said “No.”, it was more a yelp.
She collapsed to the ground, where she sat crying, her knees propped up, her head on them. She cried hard. Desperation sounded from the sniffling.
Suddenly she felt an arm around her and someone next to her. She looked up.
Silas was beside her, sitting on the ground next to her.
“I messed up! So so bad! I broke it!” she sobbed.“Don’t cry, sweetheart.” Silas said gently, placing his hand on her cheek.
“I broke it all .. all broken …” she repeated.
“Nothing is broken. Maybe a bit dented, but nothing we can’t fix. I love you too much sweetheart.” she said.
“You’re not leaving me?”
“Not if you tell me you love me and kiss me.” she smiled.
“I love you!”
They kissed, very gently, carefully. He wiped her tears with his thumbs.
The kiss turned more intense, longing.
“I really thought I lost you!” she sobbed into his shoulder. I am so sorry!”“Enough of that now, sweetheart. Let go back inside. Instead of telling me, why don’t you show me how much you love me.” she smiled and winked at her.
“More than anything, Silas. And I did not just marry you because of Finn. I swear it.”
“I know, my angel. And even if you did, it would not make much of a difference to me anymore. I just came to realize a lot of things about myself, about us.”
He lifted her up into his arms, lowered her so she could grab the suitcase and he carried her up the stairs, placing her on the bed, after she just dumped the bag wherever it would land.
Things on the bed turned heated and longing fast, when he was fishing for his protection she reached up, grabbed the entire box from him and threw it across the room, where it landed with a dull thud, as she pulled him down onto her.
Afterwards they lay next to each other on the bed, exhausted, when she said
“We really need to both grow up and quit making serious life choices after an argument.”
“Maybe. Or maybe this is just who we are, you know, a modern couple. This is definitely not the traditional way you seem to have so many hang-ups with.” he teased, looking at her, laying next to him.
“I think I need to tell you something about my past, which will make you understand me better. And maybe your wife should go see a shrink to help deal with this.”
“Or maybe I just get used to this every so often. I have to say, I am liking this makeup sex I have been hearing so much about.”
“Does this mean we are staying together?”
“I dare you to try and get away from me … I would never let you go.” he kissed her again, longing.